Toria got to work on a winter Monday and to her surprise, she met a crisp envelope on her desk. Unsure of what was happening, she opened the package and in it was the proof of her husband's infidelity with her best friend. She crumpled the envelope, refusing to believe what she had just received and left her workplace instantly intending to show her husband and get his assurance. Upon getting home, she met the doors ajar, the shoe cabinet was scattered and on looking closely, there, on the cabinet lay a strangely familiar shoe which was not hers. Heart pounding, she approached her bedroom and to her shock, her best friend was tangled up with her husband. Upon the intrusion, both people on the bed separated and tried to calm Toria down but she didn't heed, she stumbled out of her home in tears and ran into the busy street not caring about the traffic and finally, she got hit by an oncoming truck, losing her life.
Like Toria, we all, at one point or the other have experienced the pain of being stabbed in the back by someone we have held dear and at those times, we feel like life wasn't worth living and we should just end it all. Some people take it to the extreme by committing suicide, others fall into depression, and some take it hard upon themselves and go into illegal activities and excesses.
However, the good news is that betrayals are not the worst that could happen to any human being. Instead, they help us identify the hypocrites around us as well as the true friends and our first response towards it determines if we would rise above the situation or end up in the abyss. It is also important to realise that a good life after experiencing betrayal is not wished for, it is worked out because the provision for you to live a good life has existed since the beginning of the world. Growth after being betrayed eliminates nonsense, it does not foster fights. This is why you should not attempt to prove to someone who has betrayed you that you are better by engaging in fist fights, fights of wits or appearances because your growth is not in all of that, it is in the fact that you do not condone nonsense anymore and your life has a purpose for which it is directed, not only for emotional satisfaction.
1. Live joyfully
Learning to live joyfully with the person who has betrayed you is one of the most important ways of reacting to betrayal. This means putting the principles for your purpose first before your feelings. Although it is hard not to have hard feelings against your betrayer, for you as a person to see good days and enjoy life, learn to let go, see the better part of a person and live with joy in your heart. In doing this, you will have peace but your betrayer will lose their peace because your reaction was not anticipated.
Learn not to impose your emotions on people because of betrayals so that everyone does not begin to avoid you like a plague. Refuse to be pitied but instead, let all who see you see and feel the palpable atmosphere of joy around you. This way, you rise faster above betrayals than you could ever think.
2. Live peaceably
In the secular world today, one of the most difficult things to do is to coexist in peace with a person who has betrayed you previously. Everyone wants to prove that after the betrayal, they are far better, so we witness arguments, exchange of intelligence, coded insults and in worse cases, first fights.
Nonetheless, the best reaction to betrayal is none of the above, it is the opposite - living and co-existing in peace with the person who has betrayed you. Learn to put it upon yourself that for peace to reign, it is your responsibility and not that of others. Be the one to be referred to as the peacemaker so that men may call you sons. Imagine if Toria had not died and she went back home peacefully, prepared dinner for her husband and served him without throwing a tantrum. At the end of it, the one who would be scared of retaliation and end up apologising will be her husband.
Living in peace puts you on a higher plane and in a more advantageous position than whomever it is that has betrayed you.
3. Live lovingly
This is the place of giving people a second chance albeit the fact that they do not deserve it. Be the bigger person, love the person who has betrayed you, and see their time of betrayal as their foolish time (who hasn't been foolish once before?). You learn to do all of this because you are a new person and it is not hard for you to love, choose to walk in love, choose to spread that love and choose to forgive those who have hurt you in previous times.
By doing this, the shackles and boundaries of your heart will be set free and you begin to see endless possibilities. Extend that heart of love to the one who has betrayed you and wait for them to get rid of their guilt. In so doing, many have experienced the ecstasy that comes with having a complete family and great relationships.
Love this.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Peter.😊
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