The Girl With Our Voices

“Your silence will not protect you.” -Audre Lorde

Whether we gave them to her, she stole them, or she was always destined to possess them, the details are now a distant memory. What I know for certain is that he listens to her.

But as she speaks, I see them—those voices—lined up in her shadow. The sight is even more profound when she sings to him, her hands lifted high. It's as if she is raising them in praise or commanding the voices in her shadow to channel their melodies for her God.

It was a marvel to watch her, yet it quickly turned frightening. How could a single human wield such power? How could thousands have stayed hidden, only for one to shine? Is this what they mean by a gap that can't be closed? The difference between the naturally gifted and the relentless hard workers? Whichever it was, I was never willing to find out. 

What a beauty she was to behold. I was grateful to have her to whom I could confide my wishes and requests, knowing she would sing them to her God. Yet, I often wondered: if I took that extra step and presented them to God myself, would He answer me, or would He deem me unworthy?

Like many, I once believed that talented people were the luckiest. I stopped putting in the effort, complaining daily about my mundane life. But if only I had taken that extra step, perhaps I would be so much more today. I might have achieved countless things. I might have been able to walk. 

I might still have my voice.